Lost revelations

While cruising a Lost forum, I found a link to Uncyclopedia, which seems to be Wiki's evil twin. And it has the funniest Lost entry every. Oscar Wilde is a cast membre and the everyone is on Gilligan's Island. A bit silly, but fun.

And then it got to the final conclusion of the show in sesion 130:


The Final Truth

It will be revealed on the final episode (season 130) that none other than the great Chuck Norris is behind the entire series. Father to the entire cast, Norris downed the airplane with a roundhouse kick, which caused the plane to crash in Norris's swimming pool. The entire time, it was just Chuck Norris fucking around with the survivors with the aid of his Time Travel-capable cock.

Chuch Norris! It's so obvious!

(And Verve has pointed out that Facts about Vin Disel appeared on the net about a year before Chuck Norris. And my response is we need to make facts about Steve McQueen. Fact number one: Despite being deceased, Steve McQueen continues to do his own stunts.)

Dumb thief tricks

Ladies and gentlemen: my home town. As you can see, they ain't raising no rocket scientists. (And I recognize the cop in question. Basehor's so small, there's only three cops to begin with.)

The Ides of March

It finally happened. Andy got the pinkslip today. His last day is march 15.

In a way, it's nice it finally happened. Now we don't have to be tip-toeing around the subject, saying, "If you do get laid off..." Now we know. Now we do not have the axe hovering over us.

And we have a month and a half until termination. That's good. Gives us plenty of time to find a new position so there's no lapse in insurance. (I really hate US healthcare. It's designed to screw the people who need it the most., but that's a different rant.)

the ungrateful whining of a social worker...

So today at 2.30 pm the office gets a call from the Neighborhood Energy Center. Tthe city, our local congressman, and Venezula are providing heating oil at a 40% discount. Fantastic. Sign me up. I've heard about this, too. They have a similar program in Boston and New York. I've all excited about it because 40% is a lot of money and Chavez is offering the discount to make El Presidente look bad.

One problem. The delivery has to be on Saturday. Why? On account of the news crew and the congressman being there for the publicity. (It is an election year, after all.) And the person purchasing the oil has to live in the 19144 zipcode.

Okay. Still fantastic.

And they need the name of the person in an hour.

And this is a one time offer. The oil is only available on Saturday. Not after.

Not that really annoyed me. I'm not going to sneeze on discounted oil (and it's a big discount) but one time only? Do they not realize that it's the end of the month and the seniors don't get their social security checks until the 1st of February? No one's got a couple hundred bucks laying around to afford the oil. If it was next Saturday, after people get their checks, then I'd have some people. And if it was a larger service area than one zip code, I'd have a lot of people.

I know Venezuela is offering discounted oil in Boston and New York and from what I can tell it's not just a one time only thing. It seems to be an on-going program. I don't know why when it's comes to our city, it's one day only.

And that's what really makes me mad: the very narrow scope of the program. With all the requirements, it's not really helping anyone. I hope our congresman has someone to trot out in front of the cameras on Saturday, because we sure couldn't find that person.

Chuck Norris Facts!

Things I learned today at Chuck Norris Facts:

Unlike most other humans, Chuck Norris can acutally travel through the Internet, exit at your PC, and kick your ass if he wants to.

I did not know that. And my favorite: Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris freakin' rocks! (If didn't say that, he can come through the internet and kick my ass.